A simple life.
I want a simple life. I said that at breakfast the other day. I m not sure what that entails to be honest. It just felt right.
This year I have been given an immense amount of freedom. And I have learnt the hard way that the more freedom you get the harder you need to work. On yourself.
I spent half the year rejoicing in that sea of opportunities, the wonderful flexibility, that long longed for ability to pick and choose, that privileged life. I abandoned myself to it. And slowly drowned in it.
And I spent the rest of the year struggling to stay at the surface. I didn’t understand why things were not going the way I wanted, why I kept getting sick and was always tired and frustrated. People told me to slow down, to stop saying yes to everything but of course I didn’t listen. Because actually the freedom made me feel like I was not working enough, like I had to prove myself more. It took me almost a year to realise I didn’t have to work more but better.
By wanting to do everything at once to not disappoint anyone you do nothing well and end up disappointing everyone. And yourself.
So that happened. And now I need to start over.
no more trips for a few weeks
more introvert and me time
more saying “no” and speaking up to avoid keeping the frustration inside
Less multitasking, more focus.
more of the little things I like: writing, reading…
Actually I was just reading my friend Lolita’s article (in french) on the “slow life” and felt it was written for me. That quote in particular really stuck with me:
It’ s not because you live 100km/h that you live fully
- Cindy Chapelle.
Maybe it’s not a “simple life” that I want, but just a Life well lived and for that I need to be acting not re-acting.
On that note I’m gonna have a piece of chocolate.